How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack by Andrew Shaffer Download (read online) free eBook .pdf.epub.kindle

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack

Sharks Are Flying at Your Head at 300 mph.
How Will You Survive?

In the apocalyptic world we live in, Mother Nature is angry. Danger waits at every turn, and catastrophes like the Los Angeles sharknados have taught us that we need to be ready for anything. Too many lives have already been lost.

But fear not. How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters is the fi

In the apocalyptic world we live in, Mother Nature is angry. Danger waits at every turn, and catastrophes like the Los Angeles sharknados have taught us that we need to be ready for anything. Too many lives have already been lost.

But fear not. How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters is the first and only comprehensive guide to surviving the very worst that Mother Nature can throw our way. Inside this life-saving reference, you’ll find:

• Vital information about dozens of unnatural disasters and ungodly monsters that can injure, maim, or kill you, from arachnoquakes and ice twisters to piranhacondas and mega pythons;

• Easy-to-understand survival tips for avoiding a bloody demise;

• Inspirational words of wisdom from survivors, including Fin Shepard and April Wexler;

• Useful resources, such as the Shepard Survival Assessment Test (S.S.A.T), and much more.

With this essential book in hand, you too can be a hero who laughs in the face of calamity while saving friends and family. Or you can just avoid getting savagely ripped apart by a sharktopus. Either way, you’ve been warned. Now be prepared.
…more


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    karen

    Jul 17, 2014

    rated it
    really liked it

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    i read this book 2 years ago, and neverever reviewed it. it was so long ago that the comment thread is full of friendly conversation between myself and people who have since blocked me, making it a historical relic of a most delightful conviviality. in the interest both of shark week and of getting my “to be reviewed” pile down to more acceptable levels, i will FINALLY review it, if my shaky (sharky?) memory (and my nostalgic tears) permits.

    this is a really fun and silly book for fans of animal

    i read this book 2 years ago, and neverever reviewed it. it was so long ago that the comment thread is full of friendly conversation between myself and people who have since blocked me, making it a historical relic of a most delightful conviviality. in the interest both of shark week and of getting my “to be reviewed” pile down to more acceptable levels, i will FINALLY review it, if my shaky (sharky?) memory (and my nostalgic tears) permits.

    this is a really fun and silly book for fans of animal-attack syfy movies, full of winky references for devotees of the genre and many practical tips should you find yourself starring in a real-life syfy movie, like how to tie sharktopus tentacles into a knot. the advice is both specific:

    Don’t stare directly into a beeclipse – Not only will you go blind … you’ll go dead.

    and more general:

    Wear sunscreen – While this won’t help ward off a pteracuda per se, it is sensible advice nonetheless.

    it also offers some handy definitions/contexts for people who might have been too busy doing Big Important Things with their lives to sit down and marathon these fine films.

    A dinonami occurs when a megatsunami wipes out a dinosaur island and washes the creatures onto the mainland.

    i mean, duhhh, right? everyone knows that.

    there are many chapters, each explaining what you are likely to encounter during such events as a bataclysm, a whalestrom, a stonehenge apocalypse, a redneck gator, and even a piranhaconda!


     photo IMG_4372_zpsxbtj2iee.jpg

    each segment also includes tips on how to avoid putting yourself into such a predicament and how to survive if you have disregarded those tips, as well as an at-a-glance reference box with a scale of how devastating such an event would be, how likely it is to occur and where, and information about who should be most wary of the situation. for example, in a dinonami, high-risk groups include Eccentric Billionaires and Mathematicians in Leather Jackets.

    so beware.

    since we are celebrating shark week, here are all the sharky creatures covered in this book:

    DINOSHARK:


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    GHOST SHARK:


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    SHARKTOPUS:


     photo IMG_4373_zpsacadmpye.jpg

    SWAMP SHARK:


     photo IMG_4374_zpsnjtuogea.jpg

    (note to internet – you need more animated gifs of swamp shark)

    this is a really fun book, and it is surprisingly well-detailed. there is much to discover within its covers, and there’s even a handy filmography at the back, in case you missed any of these films while you were out raising your kids or something. the situations aren’t all pulled from the films, which opens the door for future possibilities, some of which may include:

    Wolverinah (Wolverine + Cheetah)
    Flying Sea Wasp (Jellyfish + Wasp)
    Snapping Taranturtle (Snapping Turtle + Tarantula)
    Rhinosaurus (Rhinoceros + Tyrannosaurus rex)
    Mangoose (Human + Mongoose)

    please, syfy, please give me a mangoose…
    …more

    Shelby *trains flying monkeys*

    My friend Kelly did the bestest ever review on this book so I had to grab it up.

    You think Cody Lundin, Les Stroud or Bear Grylls are going to help you when you are facing down a Basilisk? NOT..you better grab your copy of this book up.
    Hint you can’t blow it up! You can, however distract it with the Eye of Medusa.

    My child and I had a ball last night reading through this book. He of course has been watching all the movies/tv shows that he needs to fight some of these creatures. Sharknado, Hunting

    You think Cody Lundin, Les Stroud or Bear Grylls are going to help you when you are facing down a Basilisk? NOT..you better grab your copy of this book up.
    Hint you can’t blow it up! You can, however distract it with the Eye of Medusa.

    My child and I had a ball last night reading through this book. He of course has been watching all the movies/tv shows that he needs to fight some of these creatures. Sharknado, Hunting Bigfoot and he watches others but his mom’s eyes glaze over so I can’t remember all of them.

    This is what I get subjected too after the boy child gets into monster fighting mode:


    The hubby gets involved too..

    Next they will take notes from How to Wield a chainsaw like a boss….Umm Thanks Andrew Shaffer. I’m sure those trips to the ER will be fun for me.

    I think I’m getting a head start to the mayhem by fixing the Apocalyptic drinks on page 95 for myself…right now.

    I received a copy of this book from blogging for books in exchange for an honest review.
    …more

    Kelly (and the Book Boar)

    Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

    This week’s forecast? Increasing heat and a 100% chance of Sharknados. No, seriously – today is Sharknado 2: The Second One day!

    For decades movies have been describing all the ways terrifying beasts and various forces of nature can kill us. This book fills the populous in on the truth of all the unnatural disasters that could (and most likely will) befall the average human in the near future. Let’s face it, we aren’t all Batman, e

    This week’s forecast? Increasing heat and a 100% chance of Sharknados. No, seriously – today is

    Sharknado 2: The Second One

    day!


    For decades movies have been describing all the ways terrifying beasts and various forces of nature can kill us. This book fills the populous in on the truth of all the unnatural disasters that could (and most likely will) befall the average human in the near future. Let’s face it, we aren’t all Batman, equipped with utility belts that will help us defeat any foe.


    How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters reminds us to live by the motto Semper Paratus – “Always Ready”. After all, not all sharks want to be your friend.


    Most of them are cold blooded murderers and, let’s face it, not everyone can afford to get a bigger boat.


    Don’t think this book has pigeonholed itself to only dealing with the Sharknado problem, though. Oh no no no, this survival guide covers everything from

    Bigfoot

    to Mongolian Death Worms

    to Antdemics

    to Mega Pythons

    to Redneck Gators

    to a Beeclipse

    to Elektrokrakens


    (Helpful hint when it comes to surviving an Elektrokraken attack: Wear Crocs. Although they are an eyesore, the rubbery, waterproof Croc will insulate you from electric shock and may save your life (assuming the Elektrokraken doesn’t opt to just bite your head off). No longer will my Croc wearing be limited to the privacy of my backyard. I shall go forth and prosper in my neon yellow crime against fashion!!!!!)

    to a Boarricane


    (Mitchell is pretty stoked about this one.)

    This book is a must read for anyone who wants to survive when nature finally decides to fight back. I will continue trying to perfect my own personal defense arsenal (frickin’ sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads)


    but for now and up until the day I finally feel 100% safe, I will continue using the one tried and true method of survival:


    Sidenote to everyone who will be enjoying
    Sharknado 2: The Second One
    this evening: I hope it’s just as awful wonderful as the first and when your head hits the pillow tonight you all have visions of Sugar Ray dancing in your head : )



    (’cause Mark McGrath is in the movie, yo)

    This book was provided by Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review

    …more